Ok, so im not really sure what you guys would like to know, but here is a little bit about me :)
I live with my parents and younger sister, my Dad is over-weight, my mum is weight consious and then is alway on at my Dad. I started to pick up on this as i grow older. Her comments to us if we want a biscuit would be "think of your waist line/are you really hungry or is it you're bored?"
I've always been a 'fussy' eater, never eating things if it didnt look/smell nice OR if some one said they didnt like it, i wouldnt try it. I'd stick to the same lunch religiously while i was at school and never open to chancing it. How awkward was i?? But hey, i didnt want to become over-weight and obese and have my mother on my back.
Things took a turn for me when i started my job in a day nursery, i fell out with a best friend (who worked with me) and this made the work situation hard, every one taking her side. This was when i first started to self-harm.
After about 2months of that everyone was going on diets, so i decided to join them and at first i just cutting down my lunch, then skipped my lunch, then skipped breakfast and lunch (hense the slow weight loss). Soon people were noticing :) and it felt good. I was noticed for going something, i was good at it. So i then started doing a few days fast here and there.
Well....the fasts had to stop. I fainted while i was with a friend and she took me to the hospital. They asked a few questions, did a few test and told me to go to my GP the next day. (Little did i know what they were thinking). My GP saw me the next day, asked me questions, weighed me and then said to me that i am underweight and have Ana. (she used the correct term though).
Was i bothered .... no, i wasnt going to change. But i agreed she could refere me for some treatment (to which im still on a waiting list). So i've got slightly more clever now, i will eat fruit and veg (but no more than 400cals). Plus i let people see me eat that, so they think im 'trying' to rid Ana. HAHA....FOOLS!!
But then, Mia made and apperance when i under pressure from my family to eat more. I lost it one day and ate and ate til i physically felt sick, then it was simple. I feel sick, i'll be sick, and so i was. Mia made me gain weight so badly, which is why i am now back on my quest with Ana (although she never disappeared, just got over shadowed) and im going to reach all goals i've set. No-one will stop me!!
Im back on the OEP, taking 2 a day, and im in a really bad habbit of taking lax and water pills daily too. I want to try and only take lax when i binge so that they will work more effective, but so far i've not been successful at sticking with that. I panic if i have eaten and not taken any.
The gym is my new friend, im going to go 6 days a week and i dont leave until i have burnt 500 cals in my workouts. Ive started to wear a pedometer and most day it says i have burnt 400 or more cals so added to together i will be burning off double what i am eating.
Heres to thin!!!
